court case

Court Case Pete Rollins

In a world where following Christ is decreed a subversive and illegal activity you have been arrested and brought before a court.
The prosecution has quite a case against you. They begin by offering the judge dozens of photographs which show you attending church meetings, speaking at religious events and participating in various prayer and worship services. Next they present a few of the religious books that you own, followed by some of your worship CDs and Christian artefacts. After this they step up the pace and present many of the poems, pieces of prose and journal entries that you have written about faith. Then in closing the prosecution offers your bible to the judge. This is a well-worn book with scribbles, notes, drawings and underling throughout, evidence, if it were needed, that you had read and re-read this sacred text many times.

Throughout the case you have been sitting silently in fear and trembling. You know deep in your heart that with the evidence you face the possibility of a long imprisonment or even death. At various times throughout the proceedings you have been on the verge of standing up and denying Christ. But while this thought has haunted your mind you resist the temptation and remain focused.

Once the prosecution has finished presenting their case the judge proceeds to ask if you have anything to add, but you remain silent and resolute, terrified that if you open your mouth you would deny the charges made against you. After a few moments of silence you are led away while the judge ponders your case.

After an hour you are summed back to the courtroom in order to hear the verdict and receive word of your punishment. The judge enters the room, stands before you, looks deep into your eyes and states‘Of the charges that have been brought forward I find the accused not guilty’.
‘Not guilty’, your heart freezes. Then, in a split second, the fear and terror that had moments before threatened to strip your resolve is transformed into confusion and rage.Despite your fear, you stand before the judge and demand that he tell you why you are innocent of the charges in light of all the evidence.

‘What evidence’ he replies in shock.

‘What about the poems and prose that I wrote?’

‘They simply show that you think of yourself as a poet’

‘But what about the services I spoke at, the times I wept in church and the days that I offered myself for prayer?’

‘Evidence that you are a good speaker and actor, nothing more. It is obvious that you fooled those around you, and perhaps even yourself, but this foolishness is not enough to convict you’

‘But this is madness, no evidence would seem to convince you’

‘Not so’ replied the judge as if informing me of a great, long forgotten secret, ‘The court is indifferent toward your bible reading and church attendance; it has no concern for worship with words and a pen. Continue to develop your theology, and use it to paint pictures of love. We have no interest in such armchair artists who spend their time creating images of a better world. We exist only for those who would lay down that brush, and their life, in a Christ like endeavour to create it. So then, until you live as Christ and his followers, until you challenge this system and become a thorn in our side, until you die to yourself and offer your body to the flames, until then my friend you are no enemy of ours’.

one to ponder

comments welcomed

Predestination or Free Will

so which is it to be?

Has god already decided what is to happen to us before time or do we live complelty by free will, because one of these has to be true.

If things have been decided before hand, then am I wasting my time doing this course or looking for a job, because God already knows what's the outcome is?
Did god know before time that I would sit at my computer and be writing this, or did I just decide to do this, off my own back? Do I then have any control over what I say and do because God has already decided for me. Can I change God's mind? That doesn't sound very free to me!

or is it a case that I am a complete free being, free to choose and act as I wish, with no concern for God. So am I free to throw my computer out the window when it is being unbelievably slow, or free to eat all of my house mates food when she is away, or free to jump into someone's car and drive away, even though I don't have a license to do so?

well, technically I am free to do all of the above (although I wouldn't throw my computer out the window, even if I really wanted to!) why? Because all those things don't benefit me of anyone else.

no one is completely free, even if they think they are.

we are all bound by the rules of the land, we shouldn't steal, we shouldn't kill people, we shouldn't destroy property. We are free to do those things but there are consequences.

At the Christian Union we are going through the book of Romans, we have done 1-8 so far, but then comes some of the most difficult passages in scipture. The people of Israel being chosen by God to get into heaven, the destiny of the unevanglised and predestiantion. Topics that are rarely taught in the church. I have picked up study guides that go through 1-8 then 12-16. Completely missing out 9-11. Why, well I reckon not many people can answer why it seems that God is against some people and for others. Why God hardens peoples hearts, and what happens to those people who have never heard of Jesus?

Pauls argument is split into 4 sections 1-4, 5-8 , 9-11 and 12-16

Paul has a real passion for the Jewish people, being a Jew himself, but also has a passion for the gentiles. I believe Pauls letter is not just about Grace and Justification (as Luther wanted us to believe) but is about the divide of the Jewish people and the 'others' the Gentiles. The Jews thought they were in the club, in with God with thier good works, but they were wrong.

Now I'm gone stop because this is very hard to get into by typing it, it may sound like I'm being anti-semantic, but I'm not.

The gospel is for all.

If you think you have understood it, you haven't, we have only scraped the surface!

Mary riding on a donkey, the 3 wise men and 3 gifts, Jesus being born in a stable... All lies!!

read it for yourself!

Mary was NOT on a donkey

we don't know how many people can to see him, were not told that they are men, we don't know how many things they gave Mary.

STABLE!! What stable?!

for centuries this story has been told to our children, but have we actually looked into it.

there's so much more to this man Jesus than we can even begin to understand.

If you think you are part of the inheritance, look again!

Your not in if you think you are a Jew, or have a Jewish family, its not by works that we are saved, its not by our family that we are saved!

Show me your works and I will show you my faith.

I reckon if Christians really understood what Grace was, our church's will be overflowing with people!

Nuff said!

Leadership

Being a leader is such a strange thing. To be voted in by my peers, to stand out of the crowd, for them to see something in me that says, 'I want to follow you' is amazing, and what a prvilidge it was to be part of the leadership team for University Chester Christian Union. Its been a year since I stepped up to the challenge of being Small Group Co co ordinator, and my goodness what a year it has been!

I have LOVED it, and also found it a massive struggle at times.

I loved working with a great team of individuals who were passionate for Jesus and were willing to put their lives on the line for him, and still say, follow me as I follow Christ.
I have loved being inspired, challenged and cared for in such a intimate way that is only found in a group of people who share the same vision, passion and goal. We all want to be like Jesus, so we spurred each other on in love.

Now I don't want you to think that it was all a bed of roses, and that we were happy all the time, because we had some major disagreements! 3 hour long meetings over whether we shoul let students preach (a complicated discussion which I wont get into!) but it was in those disagreements that I learnt so much about being a leader, especially from our president Hollin. She was so wise, and totally the right person to be president.

The hardest thing for me is stepping down.

I loved doing what I did, but I was feeling the strain, I was getting tired, and felt like my journey was coming to an end.

but what a great learning curve.

Ministers and full time youth workers don't have year contracts, they cant just check in and out, they keep going, but I cant understand how. You do they stay passionate for Jesus without getting burned out?

answers on a postcard please.

My aim as a youth worker is to help people not only see Jesus in me, but also to help them be more like Jesus, whether they are Christian or not. My constant aim is to continue to make disciples along this journey of life. I don't need to go on a mission to another country to do that, it starts where I'm at. In my house, staying up till 3am talking about the resurrection, and evolution and the death of God. I like spending time talking about the things that matter, the things that are going to change peoples life. I love seeing people in my church both here and in London, who are passionate about Jesus, and not only can you see it, you want to join them in the battle, unfortunately they are few and far between.

i will always be a leader even if im not in a leadership position, its a gift and a passion of mine, to see people be the best that they can be. It really frustrates me to see mediocre christians just going along with the crowd, just filling pews, not making a difference.

Dont let age be a barrier, Moses was over 40 when he started his mission!

Be the leader that God wants you to be.

you see bones, I see an army!

Love

this is a song i use to sing in primary school, my friend reminded me of it the other day,

Love is something if you give it away, give it away, give it away,
Love is something if you give it away, you end up having more.
It's jsut like a magic penny,
Hold it tight and you won't have any,
Lend it spend and you'll have so many,
They'll roll all over the floor!

mmm

buff me

The Vision

So this guy comes up to me and says "What's the vision? What's the big idea?"
I open my mouth and words come out like this… The vision?

The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.

You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.
They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.They wouldn't even notice.They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations.

They need no passport. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.What is the vision?The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games. This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.A million times a day its soldiers
choose to loosethat they might one day winthe great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters.

Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"
And this is the sound of the underground
The whisper of history in the making Foundations shaking
Revolutionaries dreaming once again
Mystery is scheming in whispers
Conspiracy is breathing…This is the sound of the underground
And the army is disciplined.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain".
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them? Can hormones hold them back?Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them?

And the generation prays
like a dying manwith groans beyond talking,with warrior cries, sulphuric tears andwith great barrow loads of laughter!Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.
Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide.

Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside.

On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.

With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,
they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.
Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.)Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.Don't you hear them coming? Herald the weirdoes! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon.How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from heroes of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.

THIS WAS FOUND ON THE WALL OF A 24/7 PRAYER ROOM IN SHEFIELD IN 2000.

food for thought

If I had to live my life over again,
I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
I'd relax.
I would limber up. I would be sillier than I have been this trip.
I would take fewer things seriously.
I would take more chances. I would take more trips.
I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers. I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I'd have fewer imaginary ones.
You see, I'm one of those people who live seriously and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I've had my moments. And if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them.
In fact, I'd try to have nothing else, just moments, one after another, instead of living so many years ahead of each day.
I've been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat and a parachute.
If I had it to do again, I would travel lighter than I have. If I had to live my life over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.

Noise

My good ness we live in such a noisy society!

It is so hard to find somewhere that is completely quite, I mean completely, and even when we do we crave for it to be noisy again.

I cant stand silence

It totally freaks me out. I went to a Quakers meeting once, I knew they had this silence thing going on but didn't really realise just what would happen. Well, literally, there were about 25-30 people sat in a circle in a hall, in COMPLETE SILENCE! The first two minutes were awkward, the next 88 were just a nightmare. I found it so uncomfortable. I just could not understand what people were doing or waiting for, I just wanted to talk, or sing or hear someone else talking, something. But no, just silence.

what was I afraid of?

hearing!

I didn't want to hear from God, I was happy just sitting and talking to him, rather than it be the other way round. Surely that's what prayer is for...

how wrong was I!

I always thought I was a good listener until now. Listening is not about talking. Now I know that sounds obvious, but it really isn't. Listen for me was waiting until there was a gap in the conversation, then saying what I had to say. That I now realise, is not what its all about.

God speaks loudest when we are silent, and sometimes he speaks so silently that we almost miss it.

When God spoke to Elijah in the desert, he whispered. In the Hebrew translation there is no word for silence. Its not like wind, or the stillness that we know it, its speaking as silence. When he speaks it IS silence.

so, how do we hear God in the noise around us? Is there a connection with the amount of noise in our lives and our inability to hear God?

one for you to ponder!

Jobs, Jobs, Jobs

Jobs

ok so im suppose to be looking for a job, well i kinda am but still not sure what to look for.

i really want to stay in chester.

i really feel 'called' to Christ Church, but i cant work for them.

The church that planted them are look for a youth worker, (yea) but not sure if church youth work is the thing i want to get into just yet.

i applied for a job on monday... bit of a strange story..... and now i have been shortlisted. (shock shock horror horror!) im really not sure if im particularly passionate abouth this job, but it does mean i stay in chester, and get accomodation!

what to do, what to do?

Dilemma

OK, so I'm a youth worker right, rule number one of youth work.... DO NOT DATE YOUR YOUTH!

does anyone know of anyone who has, and all things turned out ok?

now the rule must be there for a reason, i dont think its a good idea! you could go to prison.

what do the rest of you think?

to date or not to date, that is the question!

YHWH

a bigger God stands august cloaked in enigmauncreated
Sovereign of secret thingswhispering in breezesilent in apocalypse
not reduced to creedsnor contained by temporal tabernaclesonly the immortal soulhas room enough for His infinite pace

abstruse glory glimpsestongue-twist the eloquenteven opaque revelationalters destinies, ruining all convention
His meek method ridiculed by foolsthe quintessential potency of His little sighdecimating superpowersterrorising the venerated

His inscrutable grace wonder-gallopsthrough famine and deathhoof-marking horrorwith ineffable benevolence
haunting the lonelypossessing the abandonedtranscendent occultic thoughtenfleshed and perfectly spoken

S.Magee 2003

The Un-nameable Name

i know this was a while ago but is siomething that got me think, what do you think?

Last term at uni was such a ground breaking, mind blowing revolutionary time for me and my realtionship with God. every year the Christian Union have whats know as a 'Houseparty'. this is when all the CU get together for a weekend of fun, teaching, worship and prayer. we had a cracking speaker, who went through some biblical truths and pratical ways to be student christians.

During this time at our regular CU evenings, we were looking at the names of God. we went through 8 names, all different speakers, but all had such an impact on our CU. (El Shaddai, Johovah Rohi, Adoni, YHWH, Shalom, Alpha and Omega and God the Judge)

My favourite talk was YHWH, this was done by the student worker Shane Magee, who also attends the fellowship some of the students go to on a sunday. (to find out more about Shane and the student work go to http://www.fakerepubulic.com/) the reason why this talk was so important for me is, it realigned my idea that although God is Almighty. He is SO almighty that he gave us a name that a) we cannot pronouce and b) does not even begin to emcompass his character.

we all have different names for ourselves and are differnt people know us by different names, I am sister to some and Miss Rowe to others. both theses titles show a different realtionship to those who call me it. I would not expect my best friend to call me Miss Rowe everytime we met, but she calls me Dee. ( which is the name i prefere, Dannillia is too formal, Dee is just more fun, and reveals a different side to my character) when we focus exclusivly on one name, we miss so much about that person. The question i was left asking myself was, how can a God, whose name we cannot pronounce, whos character we cannot understand, be the personal saviour that i know of today? well, thats just it, he is personal because he is approachable, thats whats so amazing about Grace, the unapprocahble God, becomes approachable, through Jesus!! (How cool is that?!)

i was left with this challenge: how many names of God do i know and how often do i use them? It turns out that that The Name is not a word, but an action; not speech, but life. jesus the messiah perfectly articulates the character, will, purposes, thoughts, heart of God. jesus goes further, he says, “I made your name known to them, and I will make it known, so that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them." john 17:26 jesus promises an ongoing revelation of The Name to his followers. he has left us the holy spirit through whom YHWH continues to speak, pushing beyond our conceptions of God, interrupting our theology, disrupting our religion with the wild, wonderful, terrifying freedom of love perfectly named. AMEN!

Daily Challenge

This is a poem on of the girls in my small group gave me, i found it really challenging and i hope to you do too.

' Don't be anxious... God will take care of your tomorrow... live one day at a time.' (Matt 6:34)

Today i will delete from my diary two days- yesterday and tomorrow. yesterday was for learning and tomorrow will be a consequence of what i do today. today i will face life with the conviction that this day will never return again, that it may be the last opportunity I'll have to contribute because there's no guarantee I'll see tomorrow's sunrise. Today i will be courageous enough not to let opportunity pass me by; my only alternative will be to succeed.

Today i will invest my most valuable resource, my time, into my most important possession, the life God has given me, I'll spend each minute purposefully, making today a unique opportunity. I'll tackle every obstacle, knowing that with God's help i can overcome it.

Today i will resist doubt and pessimism and illuminate my world with a smile. I'll maintain a strong faith, expect nothing but the best, take time to be happy, see every task as an opportunity to honour God, and endeavour to leave his footprints on the hearts of those i meet.

Today i invite you to start afresh with me, to dream again, to 'live one day at a time', remembering that, ...'with God all things are possible' (Matt 19:26)

women of truth

i have started a discipleship group called Women of Truth (taken from that classic Martin Smith song Shout to the North, for all u musicians out there!) the group is aimed at women of the Christian Union, and it was something i was thinking about before Christmas and had a real passion to see women of God built up in their faith and in their journey with God. the overall aim is for women to be confident in who they are as women, not to bow down to the pressures and constraints of society but to encourage one another in love. this group is split into 5 sessions with a social session at the end as a type of review of the course and improvements. we are now on week 3 (Monday 13Th march ) and should be done by the Easter holidays, and all is going well. the issues we are talking about are personal and difficult, but all is backed up scriptural, trying to keep things in context and being able to be real with the girls. i am one of four leaders, and i always encourage my leaders to open their heart, be vulnerable and honest. this is obviously sometimes hard but i believe we are women with integrity and know when to speak and when not to.I've have done my homework so am not speaking out of line and believe that God has a passion to see his children as growing in strength and character. here's an outline of the sessions

week 1. Beauty, Modesty and Propriety 27th Feb (entitled 'who do you think you are... any spice girls fans in the room?) it was about do we see ourselves, how does god see us, and why is fashion such a pressure and make up and plastic surgery. challenging girls to be accountable to each other in the way they dress and their behaviour towards each other)

Week 2. Sexual and Spiritual Purity 6th March (a subject that is NEVER preached about in church and always seems to be aim towards the 'youth services' (as if God only wants to talk to the youth about SEX!!) breaking the taboo... this was a more open session looking at why there are sexual codes and ethics, what was gods intention with making eve, why should we and why are Christians encouraged not to have sex before marriage. (this was a challenging session as most of the girls seem to be indoctrinated with 'christian= no sex' but never really understood why) but most of all the session was about lust and the problem of it, it governs our thoughts more than we would like to admit and dwelling on lustful thoughts is not living spiritually.

week 3. Singleness and Marriage: 13th March (it's OK to be single!) this session looked at the issue of being single, being in a relationship and marriage. The main point is 'it's OK to be single, don't feel pressurised into having a partner (girls have a 1:5 chance of finding their partner at Chester university!) the most important thing you can do whether your single, married or in a relationship is to build on your relationship with God. being secure with who you are, both in and out of a relationship. spending time finding out what God has planned for your life and pursuing that. Everyone has a ministry... whats yours. Also seeing the value of being single, being free to pursue the heart of God and not being 'tied down' (more focused on overseas mission) if your in a relationship, not feeling the pressure to get married (why is it Christians get married SO young....?) and if your married to keep working at your relationship, soon as you say your vows it does not end there.

Week 4. Friendship 20th March (a huge issue at Chester CU at the mo, needs lots of prayer!!) Qualities you look for in a friend are the qualities that you need to posses, so work on them. What are the attitudes, motives of having male friends, how does this effect our relationship with God. major issue of jealousy in friendship, seeing the good values and attributes in your friends and praying with each other! and GOSSIP!!! (man this makes me MAD!!) a basic down the line STOP DOING IT! its not good and it is not helpful! (phew, glad i got that off my chest!)

Week 5. Feminism 27th March (a bit of a hippy, liberal term but important nonetheless!) looking at the issues of independence, homosexuality, women preachers and teacher (a subject I'm passionate about, being a youth leader!) women's role in the church. why there is such a battle with women having 'equality' when its not shown in the workplace, in the home or in relationships. Women don't need to fight men all the time, in order to be successful.

Week 6. P.A.R.T.Y... with every student favourite meal... pizza

apologies if you got bored half way through reading this but if you read nothing else please read this..

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AND THIS GROUP AND THE OTHER LEADERS! this has been so challenging and God has taught me so much and i pray that these sessions bless people as well as bring them closer to God!

Thank you

jam

jam

ok so its taken me a few days to figure out on earth this thing works never having a blog thing before, but i think ive got

stayed tuned for more of me!

hello and Welcome

well you've finally made it

Yes this is Dee's blog

A place to be encouraged, challenged and to catch up with Me

Enjoy