an answer to my own question

The whole 'why am i here? question (to a dgree) has been answered, im not sure if im satidfied with the answer.
so you know how it goes, you finish uni, you do nothing, you go on the dole, and start looking for jobs. i actullay didn't think i would ACTULLY get one, but now that i have i feel a bit.. strange.

so yeah, finding a job was part of my t hings to do over the summer, and now thati got one, its just a bit like 'oh... ok, so i got a job. quicker than i thought, but still its a job.' and it's a youth work job, which is better than summer temping!

but im not sure im entirly happy.

the job sounds great, bags of potential, but at the momment, its no St. Michelas!

maybe thats the problem, still hung up bout the St. Mikes job! i did nt even wanna come back to london, and so many people are surprised to see me, they too thought i woauld stay up there.

Something is rottern in the state of Denmark, i just can't put my finger on it!

why do i ffel this way, im am thrilled to be offered the job, can't belive i was the best out of the 8 they interviewed (well i can believe it, i am a pretty good youth worker!), but there is a pa rt of me thats like, am i actully ready for this? am i perpared to do this full time, the only one in charge of youth work, all by myself? (sorry im not looking for an ego boost or anything)

just feel .... lost..... something is not right...

oh poo.

All an illusion?

Must we consider the inheritance of Modernism, the Enlightenment and Romanticism as an unreachable illusion? My opinion is that Modernism cannot be surpassed simply by neglecting its ideals, as a certain interpretation of Post-modernism would have us believe. The result would be an evolution towards a completely fragmented world, without any sense of direction and purpose. To the contrary, we believe that the ideal of a free and rational humanity is not dead, but has not yet been realised.

The knowledge of humanity and nature, history and society, the knowledge that enlightens ethical and political choices and allows us to take our fate in our own hands, is not an illusion or failure of the past, but a goal for the future. Only with this orientation can we take full responsibility and overcome at least a part of our alienation.

The emotion and passion expressed in Romanticism and Surrealism, have come to be feared because of certain excesses, and in the 19th and 20th century they have been too much a part of national and social conflicts.

But it is my opinion that the belief of Romanticism in personal emotion, passion and imagination as being capable of making the human person a true creator, must not be dismissed as pure illusion.

if you stare at the four dots in the centre of the image above for 30 seconds then look away onto a blank wall. what do you see?....

The Wizards Firts Rule is, people belive what they want to belive, if this life is all an illution then we all have been sucked into its reality, what have we gained? If this is all real, then what have we changed?

Is it time to make a difference, time for a change, time to challenge, grow and be brave with new things? or are you like me, just too cosy in this postmordern world, to give a damn really.

Agents Of Change, thats what i've been training for, thats what i like to believe that i am.

Wizards First Rule!

Any Commments?

risks

For fear of getting emotionally hurt, don't become too attached, don't seek a deep friendship. Live in the superficial moments that constitute friends as 'acquaintances'. Stay in your room, you never know what will happen to you on the outside. Its safe there, you can be trusted. Never rock the boat, (in any situation) if someone says something, agreeably encourage them, even if it doesn't sit right with you. Don't ever talk about things that are important to you, because they may not be important to others, and they may find you boring.


Don't ever look good, because someone else might be feeling ugly, and they will feel even worse if you are looking great. Don't dress in the fashion too much, but don't be out of it either, on the one hand if you dress in the fashion, it might not suit you, and it may eat all of your money. Be yourself. Be original; customize clothes to make yourself original.Always encourage others. Talk about what’s been on TV, what’s important. Don't talk about anything that will cause a disagreement, again, don't rock the boat.Don't fall in love, it can hurt. You miss them when you're apart. Similarly don't ever get yourself caught up in deep friendships, the ones where you would drop everything just to make them smile, they may be using you, or manipulating you, it will also take up too much of your precious time.These can be some disturbing ideas that can, at times creep into our minds.

When I've been in deep friendships, I've missed them so much when they're apart that it physically hurts, but then you appreciate the fact that you had that time with them, and enjoyed their company. Although it hurts at the time, you know that you've lived.Don't be scared to scare yourself at least once each day. Try something new, say something nice to someone that you would ordinarily avoid. Do something small, something out of the normal run of things that would make someone else stop and say thank you, or make someone smile.

The greatest stagnation is procrastination.

my space

i have a myspace page

for allt hose who are intrested please visit

www.myspace.com/dannillia

cheers

more thought provoking articles later